Helen McKillen

helenmckillen you matter



You matter. Regardless of your past mistakes in life you are a valuable human being and worthy of respect for yourself.

This is something that I had to learn. Once I took this on board it helped to transform how I related to myself.  I always believed that I didn’t matter. That I wasn’t of any importance. I associated who I was with what I had achieved in life. This was a misunderstanding on my part.

Our value is not dependent on what we own, how we look, what we have achieved or where we live. We are all of value and matter in life because we are here on this earth. We are all connected as human beings and we all share the same earth.

This understanding was one of the reasons I decided to become a coach. I wanted to share what I had learned in order to help others become free from the conditioning that we have been led to be believe is true.

I hope you too come to see that you matter too.

Until we see our value as a human being it can be difficult to have a healthy relationship with ourselves. We can get caught up in the belief that something outside of ourselves will make us feel happy.  However, we only have to look at some people who on the surface seem to have it all.  Behind the scenes they are are experiencing burn out or caught up in addictive behaviors to help them keep going.

Our peace and joy is not anywhere outside of us – it comes from within. From self-acceptance and making peace with the imperfect human beings that we are. Nobody is perfect – we are all just doing our best based on the level of understanding that we have at any particular time. This means ending the internal struggles we experience. Striving to be better, stronger, more successful  or different.


One of the most important relationships we will ever have is the relationship we have with ourselves and yet it can be the one we pay least attention to.  We think its acceptable to criticize and judge ourselves and yet if someone did that to us we would be hurt and offended.  I am saddened when I hear people saying that they hate themselves.  They don’t realize the impact their self-talk is having on their sense of self.

So how can we improve how we relate to ourselves?

Keep it simple.

Treat yourself in the same way that you would treat a valued friend or family member. Think about the qualities that anyone would want in a healthy relationship. For example:-


Whenever you get caught up in self-doubt, worry, or judgment give yourself the encouragement that you need. Talk to yourself in a caring and supportive way. Acknowledge your fears, worries and doubts. These are natural human feelings that we all experience.  Having them doesn’t mean that there is anything wrong with you – they are indicators that a part of you is feeling insecure and vulnerable.    Don’t wait for other people to see that you are struggling, recognize it within yourself and act on it. Check in and ask yourself “what do I need right now”? and give that to yourself.


Who doesn’t want to feel that they are enough and that they matter in life? Knowing that you are loved and cared for by just being you. When we accept ourselves unconditionally, we are allowing ourselves to let go of the pressures  we think that we have to live up to. Letting go of this internal pressure creates freedom for yourself.

So this is what you need to do for yourself. Accept  the whole package that is you  – strengths, weakness, quirks and everything in between. When you are at peace with yourself the internal struggle can cease. This doesn’t mean that you give up on yourself and just lie around all day and do nothing.  Not at all. It just means your intention comes from a different place. Rather than believing that you should or must be a certain way – you get to decide how you want to be.

The intention comes from a place of care, respect and understanding of yourself. An understanding that you matter. When you have this message embedded internally you are more inclined to respect and care for the unique human being that you are.



You may also be interested in this blog:

WHAT IS OUR ESSENCE? – helenmckillen.com

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