Many of us can experience times in our lives when we feel lacking in self-confidence. When this happens it can be very easy to spiral down into a low and heavy mood where we just don’t have the motivation to know where to start to get up again. At times like this, I have found the best approach is to keep things simple. Here are a few tips that have helped me.
START FROM WHERE YOU ARE
Remember you are human and will always be going through times of growth and times of challenge. This may one of your challenging times. So instead of beating yourself up, treat yourself as you would treat a good friend. For example, be kind in how you talk to yourself. Instead of being self-critical, get into a habit of reminding yourself that for today you are doing your best. Telling yourself that you are focusing on progress not perfection.
DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Self-confidence is not a feeling it’s a state of mind. So don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to others. Some people are very good at portraying self-confidence in how they look and act. However, it may be masking extreme insecurity. Therefore its best to not compare your inside with another person’s outside.
LIGHTEN UP ON YOURSELF
Allow yourself to make mistakes, to get things wrong. After all, this is how we learn in life. We fall down, we get up and then we fall down again. This is natural, so don’t take yourself too seriously. It was very beneficial to me when I learned to laugh at myself.
MOVE OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE
Lack of self-confidence can keep us stuck and seeking comfort in our usual habitual routines. Why not set yourself a small challenge of doing one thing that you don’t want to do or have been putting off. I found this simple practise very helpful, especially when I went through very low periods in my life. Getting up each day was something that I didn’t want to do, so I used that as my challenge each day. It worked, so whenever I find myself getting stuck I challenge myself to do one small thing each day.
OFFER COMPLIMENTS TO OTHERS
Whenever you can, say ‘Hello’ or offer a kind word to another person. It doesn’t have to be anyone you know personally, it could be the check out assistant at your local grocery store. Giving to others without looking anything in return is a great way to help you to feel better about yourself, and the other person hopefully benefits as well.
RELAX AND BE YOURSELF
Don’t feel you have to change in order to please other people. This thinking can be exhausting and you will never be at ease. Instead, keep your focus on accepting yourself as you are now. This is a kinder way to relate to yourself. It doesn’t mean that you are giving up on yourself, it’s just an acknowledgment of how things are for you at present. Self-acceptance is the foundation of healthy self-confidence.
Remember, you don’t have to wait until you feel confident. Self-confidence comes from doing the things you think you cannot do. Let it begin with you.
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