I love the idea of making a fresh start. For me, this means that I don’t have to stay stuck or feel hopeless about myself or my circumstances. When I find myself in this mindset, I make a decision to let go of trying to sort everything out and start again. This is so much more liberating from the way I used to be.
Previously, I thought that how I was feeling was coming solely from what was going on around me. That people, places and things were contributing to how I felt every day. Thankfully, I came to see that it was how I was relating to those things that was having the negative impact on me. I could literally think my way into a good or bad day, just by my thoughts.
You too can make a difference to how you are feeling by changing how you are relating to yourself. You can make a fresh start by making a decision to see yourself in a kinder and more compassionate way. Regardless of how long old patterns of thinking have been operating, change is always possible. It starts with making an intention that you are going to feel better about yourself.
I tried it and it worked for me. There was nothing ground breaking in my approach – just simple adjustments that I committed to each day. It wasn’t always easy, but making the effort meant I was reaping the benefits. This change in my mindset has helped me since, and so I share it with you in the hope that it may inspire you to create a fresh start from this moment on.
I keep in mind the acronym S.T.A.R.T.
START FROM WHERE YOU ARE
This simple practise of ‘starting from where you are’ can be applied to anything and is the key to making change in your life. You don’t always need to wait for when conditions are perfect, as this may never happen. Start by doing one or two small things each day that you have been putting off. This will create the momentum to get you going.
Once you get yourself going, commit to taking responsibility for yourself and your wellbeing. This means that you are in charge of your thinking process. I mention this because usually when we start on any change process our inner critic or saboteur can be very active. You don’t have to buy into this inner chatter as it is just the way the mind reacts when you step outside your comfort zone. Rather than retreat back into your old thinking patterns, adapt a kind and supportive attitude towards yourself and remind yourself that thoughts aren’t facts.
ACCEPT FEELING VULNERABLE
The change process can be like a roller coaster – full of ups and downs. You start by feeling hopeful and excited then you feel vulnerable and filled with self-doubt. This is a very natural part of the process, but you don’t need to let it hold you back. Rather than seeing vulnerability as something to be avoided see it as a sign of strength. It takes courage to face your fears and that is what you are doing.
REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT
When times are tough it is very easy to abandon your plans and think “what is the point”!!. This was the mantra that I would continually revert to until I realised that “I am the point”. Its me that wants to feel well mentally, physically and spiritually, therefore it is me that has to bring that about.
We are all a product of our early conditioning and therefore it can be challenging to see yourself in a different way. But it is possible. One day at a time. How you relate to yourself(especially if it is in a negative way) has been learned. The good new is that you can unlearn and relearn a new and healthier way to relate to yourself.
TRUST THE PROCESS
Change is a process that we are always experiencing. We never get to the point where we can sit back and say “that’s me done – I’ve cracked it” As sure as you think that, life will throw you something new to contend with. I have found through my experiences is to go with the flow and trust that things will work out if I put the effort in. When I get stuck or fall back I remember that I can always make a fresh start with my attitude, and this is what will make the difference to how I feel.
You may be interested in this blog: https://helenmckillen.com/facing-your-fears/